I Earned a Degree in International Relations
So I thought I’d put it to use!
I’d say I’m pretty politically savy. I can roll with Voltaire, I can chill with Margerat Thatcher, hell I’d get high with her and discuss gerrymandering. Feel me?
I have put together all my know how and resources and come up with these solutions to save my home state of California’s economy.
All these UC tuition cuts. A quiet Silicon Valley. The death of Hyphy music. I mean we have lost everything! And it’s time to fight back!
Mike’s plans to save California.
Tax the word hella.
I know it’s tough Californians, but hella doesn’t belong to you anymore. It belongs to the state. You’ll want to try and cut down your use, but you know it’s pointless to even try. Heaven and hell parties, 10 foot swells, and In ‘n Out will always make you feel “hella stoked” It’s undeniable. I mean my proposed tax would only be Fifty cents. What’s that to you? A hella cheap hemp bracelet? That’s hella not worth it. I know this girl Shannon who makes them for free. HELLA!
Legalize it.
If Tim Lincecum and Michael Phelps can do it and WIN? Come onnnnnn…
Create a Prospector Degree
I mean what was this state founded on? GOLD!!!! And there’s still gold up in them hills! There has to be! It’s like nature’s yellow milk. So if we’re gunna dig in those hills we need to train our citizens the best we can. You can earn a focus in Panning, or Shovelin’, or Tomfoolery. Classes will include Hard Rock Mining, Drinking Alcohol in High Altitudes, Mumbling and Singing to Yourself to Keep your Sanity, and Cackling 101. There’s GOLD I TELLS YOU! GOOLLLLD!
Elect E-40 as our new Governor
What better an economist to have than the man who coined the term Gouda to describe money? Side shows will become a regular attraction. The workforce will be brought into action to create a slew of Mac Dre memorials; including the Mac Dre Center of the Arts, The Mac Dre Planetarium, and The Mac Dre Center for Autism and Early Learning Disabilities. In fact, going dumb will be as financially rewarding as an Electrical Engineering degree.
These are only but a few of my ideas. California, if you can hear me now! Heed my warning! Follow these guidelines and we can all take that epic road trip from Humboldt to our homes in Poway; smoking our freshly, legally purchased herb while rocking out to U and Dat.
