Divorced
A father and son eat breakfast together.
Father: I’m leaving your mother.
Son: What? Why?
Father: I’m not into her anymore, she’s a total bummer.
Son: That’s all?
Father: That’s all? She’s a total bummer! She bums me out.
Son: That doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to leave her. You’ve been married twenty-years.
Father: Oh, and what would be a good reason?
Son: I don’t know, if the relationship was abusive…
Father: I’m not going to raise my hands against your mother, just to make you feel better Josh.
Son: That’s not what I meant.
Father: So you want her to hit me?
Son: No.
Father: How would we provoke her to do that?
Son: Why am I involved all of a sudden?
Father: You’re the one who needs a better reason than how often she bums me out.
Son: I don’t need any reason, I just didn’t think that was a good enough reason for you.
Father: But her smacking me around a little bit, that would make it all better.
Son: (beat) Yes, I think it would. It would make me happier.
