Smart Fish
It was I who caught the world’s smartest fish. Don’t let any college blowhard tell you otherwise. Felt his nibble a mile or two offshore of Ocracoke, NC and I knew. You could feel it. The intelligent way he teased the bait and whatnot. Only once I snagged the fucker and got him in the boat did I realize what I was dealing with. He was staring at me with his smart little eyes, likely readin’ my thoughts. Yeah, he was flailing around like a fish out of water, but there was something different. There was a soul in there. A smart, studied fish soul. I can tell these things. And out of all the fish in the world and all the people to catch em’, this was a match made in heaven (I being the only one I know with the skill to gauge fish intellect in a glance). Had to keep em’. At least I had to try, the wife be damned. She doesn’t like my fish pets. Or rather, she doesn’t like how they make her car and her things smell. Lugged the smart fish home in the mini-van and filled up the tub to give him a place to swim and sleep and study. I was only able to keep the sucker in a tank for a day and a half, tops, before he disappeared. The wife says she couldn’t take it anymore and took him to the dump but I know she’s sayin’ that to hide the truth. I reckon he escaped. You can’t contain genius.
