Treasure
Two men stand above a hole.
THEO: Dammit. DAMMIT. I swear this is where the map said the treasure would be.
JIM: Right here. The X was right here. We solved the riddle, we crossed the cursed swamp, we did everything.
THEO: And no treasure.
JIM: Not a dubloon. Not even a note.
A beat.
THEO: Unless….
JIM: Unless what?
THEO: Unless this is the treasure.
JIM: This? What do you mean?
THEO: This. You and me together, working for a common goal.
JIM: Wow, so you’re sayin’ it’s the journey that’s the treasure!
THEO: Exactly! The bond that you and I have formed over these past few grueling months is worth infinitely more than any stupid material possessions ever could!
JIM: Heck, any physical treasure would have probably ruined this beautiful relationship we’ve developed, with all the greed and fighting over shares and whatnot.
THEO: Wow. I never knew pirates were such humanists.
JIM: It’s all very nuanced and deep as it turns out, this treasure hunting business.
A third man walk on with treasure-filled arms.
CLIFF: Wowee boys! Turns out the treasure was under that coconut tree!
THEO: Haha! No thank you Cliff. That must be a decoy treasure. Jim and I discovered that the real treasure was with us all along.
CLIFF (accusatory): You boys have been carryin’ treasure with you all this time and didn’t tell nobody else!? Why that’s no better an’ common theivery!
JIM: Oh Cliff, it’s the journey that’s the real treasure! Don’t you see! The friendships we’ve formed, the times we’ve shared, the songs we’ve sang…!
CLIFF: Well…in that case I’m just gonna take this here decoy treasure and leave you two to the real treasure. After all, you were the ones to find it.
Cliff walks off with arms full of treasure.
THEO: Why that was awful generous of him, leaving us the treasure and all.
JIM: A real gentleman, that Clifford.
A beat.
THEO: That was the real treasure, yeah?
JIM: Yeah.
THEO: Dammit.
