Gwine virulllll
I tried to make a viral video. I bought a camera. My computer came with some basic editing software. Hell, I can do this, I thought to myself. And did it, I did.
My finished product was unstoppable.
It had everything. A cute animal. A secret video of my younger brother doing something embarrassing. An animal attack. A desperately trying to be weird/esoteric/random cartoon. An alllllmost nipple shot. Testicles being hit. A child playing an instrument quite well. A thirty second clip of stop motion animation that took four weeks to film. A parody of another viral video. Rick Astley. It had everything. It has everything.
DAMMIT IT HAS EVERYTHING. SOMEONE WATCH MY DAMN VIDEO. FUCK. C’MON, IT’S REALLY FUNNY! JUST WATCH IT AND FORWARD THE LINK TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW! PLEASSE!!!!! FUCKING SHIT FUCK! THE SUCCESS OF THIS VIDEO IS A BAROMETER OF MY SUCCESS IN LIFE!! I PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO THIS THING! IT’S REALLY GOOD I PROMISE! C’MON YA’LL! I WANT TO BE ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA!! ALL I NEED IS A COUPLE MILLION HITS TO VINDICATE THE AMOUNT OF TIME AND MONEY I PUT INTO THIS THING!!!!
Well, fuck. Maybe porn is the ticket.
