Focusss
Tracy and Keith stand alone in the kitchen. They discuss their son, Joe.
KEITH: Tracy, I’m still worried about putting Joe on this ADHD medication.
TRACY: Aderol is a reliable medication, proven to help someone with Joe’s condition focus. What’s your concern? That it’s not safe? Because remember what Doctor Gooding told us, 98% of-
KEITH: No no, it’s not that. I know it’s safe. It’s just that….do we really want him to…focus?
TRACY: What do you mean? Isn’t that the point?
KEITH: Well yes…off course we want him to focus. After all, it’s his lack of focus that is holding him back in school…
TRACY: Then what’s your concern?
KEITH: I’m just worried that his lack of attention span is also holding him back…from his latent gayness.
TRACY: Excuse me?
KEITH: I mean, what if he just uses his newly heightened attention span to focus on other effeminate boys? Or gay porn? Or musicals? Or any number of gay things!
TRACY: We can’t control what he focuses on!
KEITH: And that’s exactly my point! We have no control over whether he uses his new powers for good…or homosexuality…
TRACY: This is ludicrous. The aderol with just help him ignore distractions when he needs to be focusing on his studies.
KEITH: I see your point…I suppose you’re right…
TRACY: Well I’m glad that’s over.
KEITH: …I mean, after all, when I really stand back and look at the big picture, I guess I too would prefer a gay son that does well in school to a straight son that’s stupid…
TRACY: Keith! That’s not at all the point I was making. Listen, if you don’t like how Joe’s medication is working, we can take him off, okay?
KEITH: Okay. But what if, after his stint of intensely focusing on boys he likes it so much that boys themselves become the thing that distracts him when he’s off his medication?? Oh god! It’s a lose lose!
TRACY: So he’s either focusing on boys, or distracted by boys…
KEITHL Is there a way to keep his mind off of everything except his studies??
TRACY: That’s called homeschooling.
KEITH: Yeah! Homeschooling! Wait a second…there are no girls for him to meet here. Are you trying to turn our son gay??
TRACY: I’ll be taking out the laundry. Call me when you’re done being crazy.
